Throwback Friday: “Once Upon A Time” (i.e. My First Short Story)

Yes, perhaps the title should be Throwback Thursday, but as it’s not Thursday and I have a marginal dislike of conventions (not anime/comic conventions, mind you), I am sharing with you my first ever Throwback Friday (not that there may ever be another one, who knows).
This story, which I only ever titled “Once Upon A Time”, is not the first story idea I ever had, nor was it the first story I ever started. But it is the first story I finished. (Not counting, of course, those stories I wrote in elementary school, with their characteristic grammatical errors.)
So, here you are, a relic of past ages. Yes, it has problems, and could use revision. But I love it all the same. It was the beginning of something extraordinary. And it’s okay to love something imperfect.
 
 
 

Once Upon A Time

by: ‘Manda

I walked through the woods, gaining ground only because I kept my feet going. Everything in me was shouting that I should turn around; I should let go.
Who knew that only days after I first met you, I would be leaving you. We’d come so far, and… now I would have to leave.
It was such a struggle, those first few steps. I don’t think I’ll ever forget the way my heart broke with each forward movement.

I had to leave. You must understand. You’ll never know the reason. Nor will we ever see each other again. But I hope that one day, you’ll forgive me. And move on.

Even though I won’t.

I loved you. How could I get over that?

Hypocrite. Yes, that’s accurate. I don’t care. I’m not strong enough.

I’m hundreds of miles away by now, doing my duty. The duty I was born to. Who knew that being a princess isn’t really worth it? I’ve gone through life wishing I was here, being a princess.

And now I’d give anything to be back there. With you.

But I’m to be married. And you have no idea where I am. Or who I am.

Is it okay to sigh here? Considering that it’s better than crying, I’m going to assume so.

Tomorrow is my wedding day. I don’t even know my intended husband, though I’m sure tomorrow night we will get more than comfortable. More comfortable than I’ve even ever been with you. Oh, how I wish things could be reversed and I could be marrying you tomorrow.

I love you. I never told you, did I? I meant to, you know. I meant to tell that you mean the world to me.
But how could I do that when I knew that I would be leaving? And I would become a queen?

Why did it have to happen then? I’d lived in that village for 18 years. 18 years. Never, not once, did I make any sort of relationship that I would miss when I left.
And then you came along. Seeking family, of all things. And you didn’t find it, did you? But you found me. And a place you belong.

I wonder, will you still belong there now that I’ve left? Or am I merely over-exaggerating my importance? Did I mean anything to you?

Perhaps, if I believed the answer to be no, things would be simpler. Perhaps, I could move on. Perhaps,
I could happily marry whichever male my uncle chose for me. Perhaps.

But I don’t. You loved me.

There it is. I can’t take it back, and I can’t help but believe it. That look in your eyes, that kiss. Of course you loved me. There could have been no one else for you.

I wonder, are you looking for me? If you found out I was here, would you seek me out? If you found out what I am, would you still care for me?

Somehow, I pray the answer is no. I will be married. Far away from you.

…

This is too hard. So hard. It’s not even possible to describe how hard it is. I’m about to walk down the aisle. I only have an hour left. They’re doing my hair now and I’ve already got my dress on. They’re going to finish early and perhaps they will let me step outside and have a breath of fresh air first.

…

Even here, in the middle of a beautiful garden, it’s not the same as in the forest.

Or in your arms.

I close my eyes. I can almost feel you beside me.

I want to cry, so badly, but I won’t let the tears fall. I won’t.

And suddenly arms wrap around me, and a body presses to my backside. I start violently, shocked. I open my eyes, but of course I can’t see who it is.
And then he whispers in my ear:

“I’ve found you.”

I don’t think I’ve ever been happier. Can I cry now? Yes, I think I can. I think it’s okay to cry because of happiness.

But this can’t happen.

I turn around. There you are. The face I never dreamed I would see again. The eyes that will always shine brightly in my heart.

It breaks my heart.

Especially because… you’re crying too. Why are you crying? Do you know? Or are you just happy to see me?

But then you whisper:

“I know.”

My eyes close. And he hugs me. Tightly. And lets go.

I have so many questions, so many questions, but I saw that understanding in your eyes. And I knew that now wasn’t the time. There would never be a time.

There were footsteps behind me, and I was led away by a strong-armed woman, determined to lead me to my unhappiness.
Unhappiness.

I don’t look back. I can’t.

The tears have stopped. I must be myself again. I must not love him.

…

I walk down the aisle. And there you are, waiting for me.

The Mad Scientist’s Daughter by Cassandra Rose Clarke : Book Review

The Mad Scientist’s Daughter by Cassandra Rose Clark

A Tale of Love, Loss and Robots

This novel was a finalist for the 2013 Philip K. Dick award and was named one of the Barnes and Noble Book Blog’s Top Books of 2013.

Synopsis

“Many years later Cat still remembered the damp twilight on her skin and the way the dewy grass prickled and snapped beneath her bare feet as she ran up to the edge of the forest that surrounded her childhood home.”

At five years old, Cat is given a live-in tutor. A robot. A unique robot with the appearance of a human, whose sentience sparks controversy in this futuristic world. This novel details the relationship between Cat and her robot, Finn, spanning over two decades and many hardships and heartbreaks. While this would seem a sci-fi novel, it leans more toward the romantic, and gives an inward view of Cat’s life and character.

My Likes:

“In the evenings, when Finn disappeared into the mysterious recesses of the laboratory, Cat went out to the garden or down to the river and wondered what it would be like to be a stream of water, a cypress tree, a star burning a million miles away.”

Style/Diction: I appreciate how the style slowed down the plot and allowed for rumination. I like the focus on nature even in a world filled with technology. The descriptions and comparisons throughout were beautiful. I felt connected to the world Cat lived in just through the diction of the author.

Romance: The book mainly consists of romance. But it’s romance that’s done well, I thought. By the end, I was completely convinced of the relationship between Cat and Finn. And there are many moments throughout the novel that touched my heart, made me happy or angry, sad or annoyed, and regardless of the events that occur, a book that can touch me on that many levels is never a bad one.

Complexity: The complexity in this novel is my favorite aspect, and the reason that I kept reading. Cat is an artsy, tending-toward-the-liberal-arts type of person, yet she’s not against technology. Rather, she’s immersed in it. At first this annoyed me, but it’s merely a product of the time period, and the complexity of the world in which she lives. Without being too spoiler-ish, I’ll just say that I enjoyed the complexities of Cat and Finn’s relationship, as well. And how the differences between Cat’s parents plays out within Cat’s life. Both Cat and Finn are such complex characters. And the author plays with this so well, it’s inspiring.

My Dislikes

“I had no idea what it meant, no idea what I was feeling. Love was never something I was supposed to experience.”

Exposition/Character Development: To start off, let me just say that the beginning of the novel is wonderful and hooked me almost instantly. I read few books from the perspective of very young girls, and I love Cat’s initial view of the world. Her innocence and her inner self are very compelling. Yet, the exposition of the novel (where we get to know Cat and the world she lives in) lasts for at least the first third of the novel. This is entirely because we go through such a large period of Cat’s life, from the age of five to somewhere in Cat’s thirties. And the younger version of Cat is so different from the older version (and we don’t exactly get to see her evolution entirely), so I spent the first third of the book trying to figure out who Cat is and what exactly is going on in her universe. ~Annoying and not necessarily exciting, to say the least. I found the middle of the book to be less than exemplary, and even repetitive.

Genre: I wish there were more action and adventure displayed in this novel. There was just a shocking amount of romance and drama. It was intriguing, once the romance gained a little traction and tension – leaving me with suspense and an eagerness to reach the end. But I was left wanting more action in the beginning.

“He’s not an it“, Cat said. “He’s a person.”

Tying of Ends/Conclusion: Throughout the entire book, the reader is constantly trying to figure out – along with Cat – whether or not Finn is capable of love and human emotion. Despite the fact that he is a robot, there are many indicators that he feels something more for Cat than a mere program would. There’s a complexity here that I adore, and it isn’t exactly commented on, but rather left to the reader to determine. …Until the end. Until suddenly we find that this complexity of strings have all been neatly tied up in a way that seems too easy and concrete for such an abstract concept. Finn is a complex being, but the author merely made him a simplified version of himself – to the reader, at least – in order to achieve the desired conclusion.
(*SPOILER*: i.e. Clarke gave Finn the ability to feel human emotion. –> which is unnecessary and only serves to undervalue Finn and Cat’s relationship)

Warnings

This book is for more mature readers. There are some sexual references, though nothing extremely graphic. There are also references to smoking and drinking, as well as some violence. None of it is too graphically expressed, however.

All in all, there were amazing elements to this novel, and I would recommend it to anyone looking for a new and interesting take on new adult romance.

Other books by Cassandra Rose Clark

Thanks for reading!

If anyone has any comments, complaints, or constructive criticism, let me know! ^_^

May your life have many creased pages,

‘Manda